Candidly speaking, Screw myself.

Somehow I just feel discomfort, psychologically.
Weak as I am, still there are something to be realized someday.

You must die first to see the heaven.

One problem could be that you are dying anyway, sooner or later;
However, the existence of heaven is not confirmed.

The ultimate perplexity lies in the possibility in saying no to death to avoid the uncertainty of going nowhere afterward.
In this situation what matters the most is the faith in death, the faith in devotion.

Are you dying for something totally have no idea?
Are you dying for something totally have no idea of possibility in fulfillment?

Weak as I am, still there are something to be realized someday.
In this case however, just want to say fuck off you coward.

Anyway, just want to say I've had enough, yet still trapped in this vicious circle allows no possibility to escape...